The Next Thing I Knew (Heavenly) Read online

  "Ready to go?" Kyle grabbed Bella's hand and launched himself into the dusky pink sky.

  Chris took my hand. I went weak in the knees. My face felt warm. I giggled at how silly it was. Me, a ghost, going weak-kneed and fluttery. Chris smiled.

  We took off after Kyle. The few clouds in the air thinned until the stars went from the Earth's sky to its background. Large, glorious, and blue, the world spun beneath us. We left it behind. Kyle whooped ahead of us.

  "How can you make noise in space?" I said, shouting at him.

  He turned and made backstrokes with his hands, like he was swimming through the void. "Because it's all in your head, silly."

  Everything was in our heads. Maybe we were in our heads, or someone else's head. I didn't care. I was holding Chris Rogers's hand and dead or not, imaginary or not, I was loving every second. Chris stared ahead at the moon. I stared at him. I loved the stubble on his chin. The freckle on his right cheek. The hollow of his neck where it met the collar bone. I wondered how much of that would remain forever with his ghost image. I'd already seen others who'd changed their physical appearance dramatically. Maybe I wouldn't feel the same if he looked different.

  We reached the moon and touched down. Kyle took us on a tour of the Apollo landing sites, each one marked by flags. One of the flags lay on its side, partially covered by dust. Kyle righted it and saluted just before the real universe reclaimed it and flicked it back into its prone position.

  "You think living creatures can see the stuff we move?" Chris asked.

  Kyle shook his head. "I think we only move it in our reality."

  "I'll bet it was really frustrating for the early ghosts," Bella said. "Especially murder victims who wanted to tell everyone who their killer was."

  "Like that girl Susie Fish a few years back."

  Chris looked back at Earth. "You think anyone survived?"

  I didn't know who he was asking but he hadn't let go of my hand yet. Our ghost hands didn't sweat or get tired even after travelling to the moon. I thought about Brian Crews, my middle school boyfriend. His hands sweated way too much. He was the first guy I knew to get body odor and sweaty wet rings in his armpits. I wished I had a notebook to add "body odor" to the list of things I didn't miss. To my surprise, the familiar outlines of a spiral-bound notebook started to form in my hand like a chalk-traced image, but Kyle distracted me and it vanished.

  "I'll bet remote tribes in some countries survived," he said.

  Chris nodded. "We should try to find them."

  "And then what?" Bella asked. "Haunt them? Because we can't talk to them."

  "Maybe there's a way," Kyle said.

  "Aren't we miserable enough being ghosts?" Bella shook loose Kyle's hand. "I don't want to see living humans. It'd just make me sick and jealous."

  Part of me shared Bella's opinion. The living might make us jealous. Those poor people would have billions of angry and mourning ghosts haunting them.

  "Um, okay," Kyle said. He looked toward a bright blue point of light. "I'm bored with the moon. Want to go to Venus?"

  We ended up going to Venus and Mercury. It scared me at first looking into the boiling mists and what looked like cauldrons of super-heated puke on both planets, but none of it could hurt us. Kyle ran around like a kid discovering worms in the dirt for the first time. He explored all the nooks and crannies but complained about his inability to gather samples. Bella complemented him perfectly, her excitement matching his. Chris and I walked behind the two geeks and talked. I'd long harbored the romantic notion that he might be one of those jocks who played football only because his parents wanted him to but secretly had a desire to be a dancer or a poet or something. Just the thought of him reading poetry to me made me tingle.

  "My mom hated football. She didn't want me to play. I almost had to quit and join the marching band," he said.

  I couldn't imagine Chris in a dorky band outfit. "But it's the South. Everyone loves football."

  "My dad told me it was a waste of time but thought I might have a shot at a scholarship. They went to every game and cheered me on anyway."

  "Why'd you play if they didn't want you to?"

  "Because I love it. I love baseball and basketball too. But I suck at anything but football."

  I have to admit I was a little disappointed not to find a poet or ballet dancer lurking under all that muscle. "Did you want to go pro?"

  "Yeah. Coach thought I had a good shot at being an all-star quarterback. Then we died."

  "Yeah that dying part kind of sucked." I hopped over a boiling black puddle of muck and looked ahead through the hazy Venusian air to see Kyle and Bella digging in the dirt. "You see Bethany or that crowd yet?" A stab of jealousy hit me in the gut just thinking about those girls.

  "No, but I'm glad I found you, Lucy. I noticed you a long time ago."

  "In school?"

  "I caught you looking at me once in the lunchroom."

  I'd stared at him millions of times in the lunchroom and devoured the sight of him more than the nasty school lunches they served there. "Oh, God." I blushed and looked away.

  He put a finger under my chin. "You're so different from the pretend girls. You look different. You smell different. I wish I'd gotten to know you then."

  I didn't know what he meant by pretend girls or smelling different, but hey, if he liked my BO, I wasn't going to complain. "You can know me now."

  "I feel like I already do."

  Right then I wanted him to kiss me more than anything else even as the noxious smelly surface of Venus boiled underneath our feet. He leaned in, pressed his lips to mine, and took a deep shuddering breath. I went weak in the knees again but he held me up.

  "Let's go somewhere nicer," he said.

  Kyle and Bella wanted to continue playing Dora the Explorer, so we left them on Venus and flitted back to Earth. Chris took me to Machu Piccu in Peru. We watched the sun rise over the dead city of the Incas. He kissed me again. I hugged him to me and felt like eternity would be the happiest time of my life.

  Chapter 4

  By the time I returned to the afterlife, a general consensus had been reached about a proper name for the place: Heavenly. Nobody knew for sure if it was Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, or some combination of them all, so an adverb seemed to be the safest approach in case God showed up and damned us for copyright infringement. I didn't think there was much heavenly about Heavenly but very few people liked the name Kyle used, WTF-Land. Kyle's name captured my opinion perfectly.

  Later in the day or time period or whatever you would call it in Heavenly, I went to the Playground. That's what most people called the kids' section by then. Dead or alive, we humans are good at labeling everything. The little tykes had turned a few hundred acres of the grassy plain into a wonderland of slides and kiddy rides. When they wanted something, it would slowly form, growing like a plant or cancerous tumor until it sprouted into the desired shape. There were also a lot of ugly misshapen lumps and mounds of half-grown amusement rides dotting the plains. The rides looked dangerous: a two-story slide that ended some fifty feet above the ground, an octopus swing ride that spun sickeningly fast, shot up and down a tall pole, and was powered by a six-legged elephant in a massive hamster wheel. A giant sling-shot catapulted kids over a castle wall made of rubber. Bizarre animals wandered around, bleating, mooing, and making other unidentifiable noises. They seemed more like robots than real animals but at this point, I hardly knew what was real versus animated. Heavenly was becoming very lively for a necropolis.

  I searched for Robby, expecting to see his tiny body flying through the air or screaming down a long corkscrew slide. After failing to find him, I called and flitted to him.

  He sat alone on a misshapen brown lump, one of the failed imaginings in the Playground. Tears tracked down his filthy little face. I put my arm around him and squeezed his little body.

  "What's wrong?"

  "I miss things."

  "What things?"

  "Beddy-bye time. Mom
my kisses."

  I didn't want to admit it, but I sort of missed those traditional elements of everyday life. I was lucky if I heard anything from our parents now. They were off exploring Earth. Besides, we didn't sleep, didn't have beds, none of that. "I miss them too, Robby."

  "I even miss brushing my teeth and taking baths. Mommy would dry me and tickle me."

  A tear dripped down my cheek. I thought of how Mom would kiss my little body and wrap me snug and warm in a fresh towel when I was Robby's age. Dad would tuck me in and kiss me on both cheeks. He hadn't been as attentive with Robby after his promotion. He'd been working longer hours and concentrating on writing books. Mom had been the constant in our lives. The fatigue and resignation I'd seen her face had vanished after her death. Dad seemed changed too, but little Robby and I were forgotten now that life had evaporated and with it, parental responsibility. No more meals to cook, teeth to brush, or kids to tuck into bed.

  "Maybe I can make you a bathtub and a bed sometime. I'll even tuck you in."

  "You will?"

  "I promise."

  "Will you dry me off and kiss me?"

  "You got it."

  He brightened and jumped up. "I'm gonna tell Ben and Roger and, and, all the others." Then he soared away toward an immense corkscrew slide in the distance. I watched him until he vanished.

  I wanted to give Mom and Dad a good flogging. This was unacceptable. Robby needed them. Even I needed them from time to time. I didn't want them watching over me every second of course, but it would be nice to have some family time. We were ghosts but still family, damn it. I wondered if they felt the same loss Robby and I did or if a huge burden had suddenly slid off their backs.

  I thought of Chris and his parent search. He'd left me to go looking for his parents even though I would've been content to remain in Peru another century in his arms. I wondered if ghosts could have sex. Surely someone had already tried it. Rumors about what could and couldn't be done circulated faster than the speed of a bad reputation now that most everyone was connected in some way or another with our flitting and the virtual cell phones built into our brains.

  Kyle contacted me but it was faint. I had to shift to Earth and even then his voice sounded tiny.

  "Where are you?"

  "Flit to me."

  So I did. It took a while, what seemed like an hour. When I arrived he and Bella floated alongside me in the void of space. Earth was a distant speck, almost lost in the glare of the sun.

  "Watch this," he said. He flitted away from us a distance then snapped back.

  "What am I watching for?"

  "We can't go any further than here and I wanted to go to Pluto."

  I tried going in the same direction. Something jerked me back like a dog on a leash. "Where are we in relation to Earth?"

  "A long way out. Pluto's out here somewhere."

  "Somewhere is a pretty big place," I said. "What if it's on the other side of the solar system?"

  "I looked it up on the astrological charts before we came. Damn. This pisses me off."

  "Pluto can't be that exciting. It's not even a planet anymore."

  "Yes it is."

  "No, it's a retarded lump of rock."

  "Pluto may be special, but I like it."

  "Well, guess you're not allowed to see your retarded non-planet."

  "It's not just Pluto that pisses me off, I wanted to explore the galaxy."

  I wasn't concerned. After all, the only other things out in the void were stars and space junk. We'd overcome so many limits in our short time as ghosts, that we'd eventually overcome this. I reached my hand toward the void, half expecting to feel the surface of a massive glass jar. What if we were atoms traveling the distance between molecules but trapped in orbit? I didn't feel anything. I moved forward slower until the invisible yoke pulled against me like a stretched rubber.

  "Maybe ghosts can't get too far from Earth."

  "This sucks," Bella said. "All my dreams about becoming Queen of the Galaxy are destroyed."

  "Hey, that was supposed to be my title," I said, poking Kyle in the ribs.

  "Don't worry, as the king, I'll let you both be queens."

  "Yeah, how about we just make you our bitch?"

  Bella laughed, but I could have sworn I saw an evil little glint in her eyes at that idea. Oh boy, you'd better watch out for that one, Kyle.

  I left them to ponder the mysteries of the universe and flitted back to Earth with my own mission in mind: finding Chris's parents. It would be a nice surprise for him. When I arrived back in Heavenly I searched for people who knew Chris's parents. I ran into Gayle Smith, ex-cheerleader and super bitch. She used to cling to Chris's side like she was sewn on. She was still skinny and bleach-blonde. She wore a short red skirt to make her legs look longer and four-inch heels to overcome her five feet stature. I figured she didn't know how to change physical aspects of herself, like how not to look slutty or mean, for example. A group of other cheerleaders hovered around her, most of whom I barely knew. Bethany and Susan were not with them.

  I braced for the worst. Gayle wore a snobby condescending smile most of the time. I'd spoken to her on a handful of occasions during life, usually a short greeting that sounded like a grunt.

  She saw me and hugged me like a long-lost sister. "Lucy! I can't tell you how happy I am to find someone else from school."

  "Uh, nice to see you too, Gayle." I decided to cut straight to the point. "I'm helping Chris Rogers look for his parents. You seen them around?"

  "No, but I heard he found his parents either yesterday or a few hours ago. I get so confused with this place."

  "Me too." Well, crap. I was a little disheartened that I wouldn't be the one to reunite him with his loved ones, but at least he might be happier now. I also wondered how Gayle knew before I did and felt a sharp jab of envy where my ghostly heart beat from time to time.

  "I hardly know what to do with myself anymore. No more cheerleading, no more football."

  "At least there's no more school." I sweetened the statement with a smile although I wanted to grab her by the proverbial collar and ask how she found out about Chris's parents before I did.

  "I never thought I'd say this, but I really miss school." She looked close to tears. "I miss everything the way it was."

  With that she probably summed up what most people who'd had real lives on Earth were thinking. But school wasn't forever. Everything changes. Even in the afterlife. Besides, I liked the dead her a lot better than the alive version.

  I left her to find meaning in death and sincerely wished her luck. I'd found my meaning and his name was Chris. I called him and congratulated him on finding his parents, somehow repressing the urge to ask him why he hadn't told me at once. Hadn't we just experienced the most wonderful time together in a terribly romantic spot? Was I his girlfriend or another chick on the backburner? I actually growled out loud, sounding like a cavewoman with a stomach ache.

  He invited me over so I flitted and arrived in the forest clearing I'd found him in earlier. He was there with his parents. His dad had a beer and his mom a glass of wine. I'd noticed such vices popping up with regularity as of late. As more people missed their old habits and wished for them back, so would their wishes materialize in some shape or form. I'd also seen cigarettes, cigars, bubble gum, and non-diet soft drinks.

  I'd tried wishing for an iPod or even an old record player so I could listen to music but my attempts failed. Either my belief that one would materialize in my hand wasn't strong enough, or it wasn't possible and I'd end up with a hunk of unidentifiable plastic. I'd seen flying boys shoot lightning bolts at each other. I still hadn't seen anyone with electronic gadgets on their hips and I was really jonesing for my tunes.

  Mrs. Rogers offered me a glass of wine. I felt naughty for accepting despite the lack of a legal drinking age in Heavenly. The wine tasted sweet and it didn't even give me a buzz or a stomach ache. Mrs. Rogers asked about my family and expressed delight in our adventures into the s
tars. I didn't know if Chris had told her we were dating but I didn't bring it up. Maybe I was expecting too much of him too fast after our trauma. Maybe I should leave and let him enjoy the reunion.

  "Want to have a picnic?" Chris asked me later after his parents left to go pray with their religious group.

  "We don't need to eat."

  "I know, but I still like to."

  "Can you cook?"

  He stared at his hand and a small crumb grew into a fist-sized blueberry muffin. "I'm still working on steaks."

  "How did you do that?"

  "You have to focus in detail on what you want." He broke open the muffin to show that the inside didn't have any blueberries in it, only the surface. "Otherwise you get mixed results."

  "So people with really good imaginations can do this easier."

  "If they have control, I guess. I saw a guy attempt a pancake and end up with a rotten mushroom the size of a table."

  "What happens if you don't eat it? Does it rot?"

  "No idea. Maybe it stays around forever."

  "So what happens if you eat it? It'll stay in your stomach forever?"

  "Ugh, I wish you hadn't made me think of it that way."

  I tried to make a muffin but ended up with something that vaguely resembled dog poo. The possibility of hearing my favorite music slipped even further from my grasp. If I couldn't do a muffin, forget complex electronics. "A picnic sounds lovely as long as I don't have to eat rotten mushrooms."

  "I have a cool place in mind."

  We shifted to Earth and aimed for the heavens after a visit to the planetarium for directions. We slowed down somewhere past Mars and played hide and seek in the asteroids. Chris found an asteroid ribbed with some sort of gray metal. I found one in the shape of a heart. He didn't see the resemblance. Eventually we flitted away from the asteroids and toward Jupiter.

  "Are we there yet?" I said in a nasal whining voice.

  He laughed and said, "Almost."

  When we passed Jupiter, he pointed ahead at the rings of Saturn. "That's where we're going."